Open Letter To Khloe Kardashian

Khloe Kardashian

Dear Khloe with a K,

Congratulations on your new black baby and all.  I am genuinely happy that you and your sisters have made your having a black baby dreams come true. No. REALLY. Good luck with that and be sure to ask your black friends how to comb your baby’s hair if you have a girl. Just PLEASE don’t be THAT white mom who’s all obtuse about her child’s hair needs.

Anywho.

I was perusing the internet, wasting “my Caucasian time” and I came across your campaign launch for “Good American” by Khloe Kardashian It was a good look if you’re into that kind of thing.  Slick Woods looked super cute as well. I see you doing it “for the culture”. Yep, fake ass and fake lips for the muthafuckin’ culture, boo! It was a nice touch having Slick sit at your feet like your pet. THAT WAS A REALLY NICE TOUCH.

But yoooo! Your obsession with black pene made you ballsy as hell, sis. Did you come up with that all by yourself? Or did Kylie and Kris help out because they’re still mad at Blac Chyna for beating them at their own game?

It’s obvious that you have a love hate relationship with black women. Yeah, I know you have black friends. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with the other Kardashian sister? I mean you aren’t Kim but at least you’re somebody, right? Khloe Kardashian, the black sheep of the family with the speculative black Daddy (although OJ’s not black… he’s OJ), thought that it would be a good idea to have a black woman sit beneath her? With all the “borrowing” you do from black women, that’s all you could think of to do with Slick? A sister with big, full lips kinda like the ones you bought but waaaaay better.

Khloe Kardashian

It’s not as if you’ve not been a problem for us.You’ve reportedly stolen designs from a sister whose clothes you purchased BEFORE you launched your own line. That wasn’t very “Good American” of you, Khloe. It was a peak, hating ass Susan move but we know you can’t help it.   We expect this from white women. Real talk. See Madonna.

You even tried it with the faux dread mop which you installed on your stringy mane. I guess that was your way of telling the  coloreds to stay in our lanes.

Hmmmm.. “isn’t it ironic? Dont’cha think?” *Shout out to Alanis Morrisette*

But this, oh Jan Brady of the Kardashians, was an all-time low for you.

You’d think with all of the black phalli you’ve taken throughout the years, you wouldn’t be obtuse to the oppressive stance in which that sister was sitting. But I get it. Subconsciously, you think black women are beneath you although you idolize and fetishize us. It’s because you went out of your flat-assed way to not so subtly erase your whiteness. Fuller lips and a bigger ass make you feel better about yourself. And because you can’t BE black, you insert your whiteness all up in through our spaces by way of black men. Girl, BYE! WE DON’T CARE.

And don’t get it twisted, black women are astute enough to know that taking black meat to the face doesn’t mean you love US.

FYI. That schtick is old. You just have millions behind your “wiggerdom”. I hope you buy a clue with those dollars and really soon.

You have a black child on the way and we’d hate to see him/her be some Becky’s pet. Do better, Kristen.

Oh and fuck you.

 

K. Araújo, a native Detroiter, is a cross between Claire Huxtable, Rosie Pérez and Millie Jackson. Widow, professional dragger of filth and Mami to the dopest Ethiopian EVER, she is the Editor in Chief of "Negra With Tumbao" and a Staff Writer for "The Urban Twist". Keka has been known to shake what her mama gave her, is the hell and high water, an expert salsera and cussologist with a penchant for the finer things in life and is and forever shall be- unapologetically black.
  • Love Heals

    Reina Negra, thanks for keeping a sista informed. Soooooo, I just got done reading and I’m hella pissed. I didn’t know about this! This GodDAMNED BITCH!!!!! I’ll be back later when I can be more articulate.

    • Anytime!! My love. thank you for reading. She is a whole mess!

      • jannah zakee

        indeed!