A few days ago, I wrote a blog post outing an opportunistic, avaricious and abusive “activist” in our community. I STAND BEHIND EVERY WORD I PENNED. However, I learned three things.
Even among the blackity blackest spaces, white centering runs rampant. Also the “tragic mulata” trope is an integral part of the fabric in our history and apparently folks don’t truly know the story behind the phrase.
When it comes down to it, black women (especially dark-skinned and brown sisters) will always be at the bottom of the barrel in everyone’s eyes. INCLUDING BLACK PEOPLE.
Last year, I wrote a piece about light-skinned privilege being another line of separation which blacks didn’t need. DARK-SKINNED AND BROWN-SKINNED BLACK WOMEN WERE PISSED AND INVALIDATED by my words. NOW, I understand why.
First and foremost, I want to apologize to any of those sisters who felt dismissed or not valued when I wrote that piece. I’ve only moved in black spaces for my ENTIRE life. Even when I was a student at an affluent, white high school with very few black students. I had FEW white friends. That was on purpose. My circle of sisters has never been exclusive of one type of black woman so I, seriously, couldn’t fathom this division. Charge it to my head and not my heart.
THIS is NOT an attack on light-skinned women. This isn’t even an attack on bi-racial women if they are living a black experience and putting in the work as I know some of y’all do. However, if your ass uses blackness when it is convenient. FUCK YOU.
If it doesn’t apply. LET IT FLY.
Centering whiteness comes in many forms. I witnessed a very eye-opening version of this fuckery over the past week or so.
I wrote about black women being victimized and traumatized by a woman who up until 2014 lived a relatively Wonderbread life. I received screenshots and inboxes en masse from black women who were in tears over the abuse. I spoke to them on the phone. I listened to them weep. It made me angrier especially when this person has NOT come clean or apologized. These women felt vindicated and had been holding on to that pain for the past few years and or months… wherever they fell on her opportunistic timeline.
A few of these women are my personal friends. Many were not. There had been talk within these circles for years but NOT ONE BLACK WOMAN felt like they could come out and speak against her. People, only, listen to the bitch with the loudest bark. Folks likened my post to being messy, hateful and violent (stop fucking using that word for every goddamn thing).
Violence is me saying I would like to punch a bitch in the face NOT me saying someone is a shitty, evil ass spawn of Satan.
People swarmed around Jasmine as she had a “meltdown” and felt traumatized by my words. She reached out to people to create chaos as to take the heat off of her. NOPE. Advocates of self-care spoke about how she was on suicide-watch (for the 50 leventh time) yet she posted memes with braids and pictures of women with machetes? But she’s in crisis with a phone? Ok. I told y’all to watch what she does and not listen to what she says. Y’all don’t hear me though. She deleted her Instagram which provides the receipts for her life in Dawson’s Creek. A simple Google search and her name demonstrates that “black” and Jasmine Banks have NO association until 2014.
And women who looked like me continued to lift her up because somehow her fragility outweighed her offenses.
Black FOLKS with their strong criticisms of my words against her NEVER ONCE ASKED ABOUT THE WELL-BEING of the BLACK WOMEN whom she hurt. That’s odd. Especially, since there was an overt need to “protect a fellow black woman”. Centering whiteness and that privilege was far more important than ensuring the well-being of actual black women.
I realized, in this moment, that there IS NO protection for dark-skinned and brown-skinned woman when black folks have to make a choice of who to believe.
I am sorry that I EVER doubted that.
Because isn’t that what this really comes down to? I mean folks even after I explained the situation further, women felt like I should’ve given this wack job grace. Even “if it was true”, why did I come after her like that? Who else was going to do it? I could not with good damn conscience sit back and watch these vile acts go unmentioned. I have these women’s cries for help in my head. MY SISTERS’ CRIES FOR HELP.
AND FUCK HER.
Keep in mind, the person,who is at the root cause of all of this, has yet to speak. A person who has NO problem jumping her ass on camera to call out others. NOBODY finds that suspicious?
Our men don’t protect us AND we don’t protect each other if centering whiteness isn’t a part of the equation. I learned that this week. I, also, learned that people will speak on “putting in the work” without having actual receipts of said work. That’s cute.
I hope my sisters KNOW that I will always center you- never centering whiteness. EVAH. I am a work in progress but I love the FUCK OUT OF US in all of our negritude. We are not perfect and I do not expect you to sit and marinate in your pain. We will go after the muthafucka who hurt you- TOGETHER. The ride for my tribe runs deeper than the waters where Olokun dwells. And with machete in tow, I have your back.