My marriage was important to me. Operative word “was”. Many of you already know that I decided to, publicly, share the culmination of factors which ended our union. I’ve, openly, expressed my feelings via my personal Facebook and have had open discussions. I have been asked if my marriage could have been saved.
That answer is a resounding NO!
I think it’s imperative to preface this with people have different expectations within their marriage and I’m not judging or inserting any authority over their decisions to stay or leave. I will speak on what I’m willing or not willing to accept.
So I’ve been watching VH1’s “Love And Hip: Atlanta” and there’s an ongoing saga with Rasheeda and Kirk Frost. Apparently, Kirk has cheated numerous times with various strippers in the “A”. This current transgression produced a
“lovechild” bastard. Not only did this trash ass nigga hide it from her but he had the slide living in the same building as his wife.
Rasheeda is devastated and rightfully so. She takes off her ring and tells him he needs to go. Because Kirk seems to “value” her more AFTER he fucks up, he is NOW fighting for his marriage. I get the impression that Rasheeda isn’t serious about ending their union. She wants to see him sweat. She wants him to “fight” for her.
This is where we differ.
My marriage wasn’t perfect. However, there weren’t a lot of things that had me “Looking at the front door” . People were even hoping our marriage didn’t last but that didn’t necessarily bother me either. After all, envy is a monster for real and it’s fully understandable why low brow bitches were angry with me.
*Yes, I deviated from the ENTIRE POINT OF THIS POST with that last statement.*
It felt good too.
My “Do Not Pass Go Or Collect $200” was/is cheating. The physical betrayal is insurmountable for me especially within the confines of matrimony. Yes, I know there are open marriages and polyamorous relationships. That is NOT my portion. My physical togetherness with my ex was based on monogamy. Also- I, wholeheartedly, believe that there was a moment where he thought about what he was about to do before deciding to step outside our marriage.
I, mean, he brought his sidechick around the messiest bitch in Orlando, who just happens to hate my guts. In addition, her father looked me dead in the face and told me that my philandering husband was a “good man.”
The all-around ain’t shitness of this WHOLE ASS situation won’t allow me to stay. I don’t need this nigga to fight for me AFTER THE FACT. He’s already done what he was going to do so why wouldn’t he want to come home? Where was that consideration prior to him banging that lowlife?
Even this past Monday, he insinuated that we could have fixed this. The arrogance. He served me with divorce papers on the 22nd of March. I have NEVER seen him commit to doing anything that fast in my life. According to him, he did it out of anger. Because he is the victim here. Riiiiiiiiiiiight.
This is something that we’d (I’d) NEVER get past. EVAH. This marriage isn’t worth saving. And that’s ok.
Rasheeda and many other wives look at the time invested and determine that time, itself, is cause for saving their marriages. Religion may play a role in salvaging a marriage after infidelity if outside babies are involved. Shit, sisters are duped into staying because THAT’S what makes a “good wife”. Enduring bullshit. They stay prayerful but won’t ever reap the benefits of having a fulfilling marriage because their husbands are just wack ass dudes. And because a “commitment” was made, it can’t be broken.
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! Death and taxes are permanent. Niggas and shoddy husbands, who will treat you like your forgiveness is OWED TO THEM, come a dime a dozen.
And I’m fresh out of change.