Serena Williams is getting married. Yaaaaaaaaaaas! And it’s not to Drake or Common. Double yaaaaaaaaaaaaaas! She’s marrying Alexis Ohanian, the founder of Reddit. Cha-ching. Well, it’s not like she’s without proper coinage so we know it’s not for the money.
That’s not what this is about though and I’m certain they are cute and mushy. Like the sitting at the table, drinking Ace of Spades mimosas, and feeding each other mamoncillos-cute. And NOT like sitting at Denzelion’s mama’s house eating Rally’s and drinking red Kool-Aid which was sweetened by a 5-pound bag of Domino’s sugar.
The Hotepticons have caught wind of her betrothment and they are not happy. According to the Book of Hotep Chapter 14: 12-16, it states:
“When a Queen findeth a King of the most melanated bronzed complectedness, she will then have the running waters of her yoni worshipped like Ma’at.
But once she doth become a thoteptress to the pale loins of the unmelanated beast, she becomes thou bedwench.”
Serena Williams’ fiance is Armenian. *in my Ike Turner voice* “What da problem is?”
Hold up. Aren’t Armenians black? After all, brothers were all hard-ons and “fuck yeah!” when the Lamar Odom’s and Kanye West’s of the world were wifing up the Kardashian sisters. They were contributing their “good looks and asses” to Black Jesus himself and not the surgeon who upgraded their previously unremarkable looks to “black girl fresh”. Fucking hypocrites. By the way, Armenians ARE WHITE. Eurasian to be specific. Find and study a map. In light of these morons, who OBVIOUSLY failed social studies and geography, attempting to rain on Serena’s love parade- it’s time to put another tally mark on the Fuckboy Wall of Shame. God forbid a black woman finds someone other than your musty, ashy asses to love AND marry her.
I’m not an advocate for interracial dating or marriage. It’s not for me. HOWEVER, Serena Williams dated black men. And THOSE brothers dated white women. Are we REALLY going to act like Common’s ass didn’t date Laura Dern (who has children with black singer- Ben Harper)? Y’all are so wack.
She didn’t solely seek out white men. And given her financial worth, I’m certain that it put her in the presence of different types of men. Unlike the Kardashians, who seem to THROW themselves at black penises for sport (pre-marriages), she was an equal opportunity dater. How the fuck can you be mad at that?
I wish her nothing but the best and a life filled with love and happiness.
Stay ashy my friends.