Serena Williams Is Getting Married And Armenians Aren’t Black After All

Serena Williams

Serena Williams is getting married. Yaaaaaaaaaaas! And it’s not to Drake or Common. Double yaaaaaaaaaaaaaas! She’s marrying Alexis Ohanian, the founder of Reddit. Cha-ching. Well, it’s not like she’s without proper coinage so we know it’s not for the money.

That’s not what this is about though and I’m certain they are cute and mushy. Like the sitting at the table, drinking Ace of Spades mimosas, and feeding each other mamoncillos-cute. And NOT like sitting at Denzelion’s mama’s house eating Rally’s and drinking red Kool-Aid which was sweetened by a 5-pound bag of Domino’s sugar.

The Hotepticons have caught wind of her betrothment and they are not happy. According to the Book of Hotep Chapter 14: 12-16, it states:

“When a Queen findeth a King of the most melanated bronzed complectedness, she will then have the running waters of her yoni worshipped like Ma’at.

But once she doth become a thoteptress to the pale loins of the unmelanated beast, she becomes thou bedwench.”

Serena Williams’ fiance is Armenian.  *in my Ike Turner voice* “What da problem is?”

Hold up. Aren’t Armenians black? After all, brothers were all hard-ons and “fuck yeah!” when the Lamar Odom’s and Kanye West’s of the world were wifing up the Kardashian sisters. They were contributing their “good looks and asses” to Black Jesus himself and not the surgeon who upgraded their previously unremarkable looks to “black girl fresh”. Fucking hypocrites. By the way, Armenians ARE WHITE. Eurasian to be specific. Find and study a map. In light of these morons, who OBVIOUSLY failed social studies and geography, attempting to rain on Serena’s love parade- it’s time to put another tally mark on the Fuckboy Wall of Shame. God forbid a black woman finds someone other than your musty, ashy asses to love AND marry her.

That’s rich.

I’m not an advocate for interracial dating or marriage. It’s not for me. HOWEVER, Serena Williams dated black men. And THOSE brothers dated white women. Are we REALLY going to act like Common’s ass didn’t date Laura Dern (who has children with black singer- Ben Harper)? Y’all are so wack.

She didn’t solely seek out white men. And given her financial worth, I’m certain that it put her in the presence of different types of men. Unlike the Kardashians, who seem to THROW themselves at black penises for sport (pre-marriages), she was an equal opportunity dater. How the fuck can you be mad at that?

I wish her nothing but the best and a life filled with love and happiness.

Stay ashy my friends.


K. Araújo, a native Detroiter, is a cross between Claire Huxtable, Rosie Pérez and Millie Jackson. Widow, professional dragger of filth and Mami to the dopest Ethiopian EVER, she is the Editor in Chief of “Negra With Tumbao” and a Staff Writer for “The Urban Twist”. Keka has been known to shake what her mama gave her, is the hell and high water, an expert salsera and cussologist with a penchant for the finer things in life and is and forever shall be- unapologetically black.

  • Danny Gardner

    God in Heaven, you are brilliant.

    • Thank you.. 😆

      • Cool Breeze

        You can’t defend a woman who talks “black” but marries white.

        • I can defend whoever I want.

          • Cool Breeze

            Stfu bítch.

          • LMAO… You mad? Bye ashy!

          • MrsRivera

            Whoa 😮 I wish I knew what he said, because you got him all the way together lol.

          • Lmao!!!!

          • IP Address:

            Hey, guess what’s next? I am gonna get your real name, home address and phone number and tweet it. You go around trolling black women and I got you. Let’s see if you are white or black… I will publish the results// Oh and get in touch with your job.

          • Cool Breeze

            And I will sue you and enjoy collecting punitive damages.

          • You may want to learn the law my friend. I will be sure to post the laws of your city and state. You are harrassing me and I feel threatened. You are on a public forum and unfortunately for you… I have learned that your information is public record. Please stop responding on this page or I will be forced to take further action.. Bye Felicia.

  • Calvin

    She could’ve gotten a non-black man with lips, a butt, and far less hair. And darker, but how many non-pale men has she publicly dated?
    Yes I’m petty and prejudiced towards big butts, big lips, and smooth hairless brown skin. Do I really care what she does off the court? No. I want her to win the Australian Open and break the tie w/ Steffi.

  • Val

    Great post, NWT.

  • Malcom Flex

    Well said. Black males can’t say shiz about this except congratulations as they are kings of swirl. Of the few BM who do marry in the usa 25% of them are swirl married. read that again, children, if you’re slow. BM outpace BW in swirling over double they chase nonblack women like cats chase mice. So many of them are totally petty jealous haters. Dapping each other for swirling dogging BW that do. BW, do YOU. F the hates and jealous hypocrites.

  • Kitty

    Congrats Serena find happiness wherever it maybe. I did the back love thing and my ex couldn’t keep his penis in his pants. Thought he was god’s gift with his 2 minute lasting ass. Had more orgasms with my vibrator than him 🙄#divorcee 2017 # saltyex