Fuckboy Chronicles: Umar Johnson- The Greatest Nigga Of All Niggas

Umar Johnson

Umar Johnson, the self-proclaimed doctor, Prince of the Pan-African movement and resident hotep fuckboy is mad. That nigga is BIG MAD and he took to these here innanetz to tell the good people about it. Now you know a nigga had to be fuming.  He made a video in a hotel room in Jacksonville, Florida  (because fuck seasons and heat) while wearing a toddler’s skully with a ball on it in a hotel room. Did I mention he was in FLORIDA?

“Houston, Umar has a problem!”

Sarasuten Seti is “serving plates” to Umar Johnson under a tirade of “niggas” and shit. Between his ability to be able “to make at least $75-$100k, if he wanted to work for the man” without degrees mind you, the shit is hitting the fan. A legit battle for hotep gold. Outside of the horrible subject to verb agreement, he dropped some jewels. The brother at the end of the video called out Seti in grand fashion because he failed to call out Umar Johnson over the mistreatment of black women.

Then came Umar’s rebuttal. Ruh-Roh. *I just cracked up.*

Sarasuten, who’s from Detroit, received a challenge from Umar, “You verse me in yo’ town, nigga!”

That’s verse not versus. Yeah.

This shit got weird as fuck. According to Johnson, Seti is a “cracker” because he’s light-skinned and King Kong Conscious was going to bring “melanated consciousness”. Uuum okay. Is melanated even a word?  I must have counted 165,457 niggas between the two of them. Umar was foaming at the mouth. He’s 6’3 and “can look down on…” oops, I meant look down AT the queens.

This negro’s ego is bigger than his body. He is the Jigga and Biggie of this hotep game, bitches! Recognize. Oh and he’s published.

Bitch where?

Maybe his dissertation and his doctorate degree are at “215-989-9858” because they are surely not verifiable online. SOMEBODY CALL THAT NIGGA.

Please watch 24:20-HOEMAHGAWD- Umar Johnson fake answers the phone!

 

Somebody call the elders because this nigga’s mad. I must have missed the memo for the RBG Consciousness Kick Off. The tribal council is electing leaders and shit. I didn’t know there were job openings. How much does this shit pay and do I get a Youtube channel? So hoteps cut each other off and go broke? Or are they broke beforehand? I have questions.

In fact, I have three.

  1. Why does he look like Caesar in “Planet Of The Apes”?

      2. Is he EVER going to open a school? Fuck a school… a daycare, maybe?

      3. Why is the acronym for his security team so damn long?

I don’t see the work from either one of them. They both sounded like they were practicing for the Stroke Fest. I made that up but it fits. Seti is allegedly in his mama’s basement and Umar is probably trying to fuck Seti’s mama while eating a side of pork bacon. Oh well.

It’s quite the pissing match in the RBG Conscious community and ALL OF THESE NIGGAS ARE FUNKY AND ASHY. Shoot me an email if you are going to see him in Detroit.

K.

 

K. Araújo, a native Detroiter, is a cross between Claire Huxtable, Rosie Pérez and Millie Jackson. Widow, professional dragger of filth and Mami to the dopest Ethiopian EVER, she is the Editor in Chief of "Negra With Tumbao" and a Staff Writer for "The Urban Twist". Keka has been known to shake what her mama gave her, is the hell and high water, an expert salsera and cussologist with a penchant for the finer things in life and is and forever shall be- unapologetically black.
  • lkeke35

    I had a co worker who was heavily into Umar and kept trying to get everyone to watch his videos all the time, but I got ConAlert personally installed and I know a con when I see one. I wasn’t on that and never will be. I resisted her as long as I could till she left my office. Just a couple of minutes listening to him was enough to show me what’s what.

    • A couple of minutes is all you need.

    • Mary Burrell

      Stay woke Queen and overstand.(😅😂😂😂).

  • Mary Burrell

    Negra, you made my day with this post. I can’t hurt myself with these fools. I think i lost brain cells listening to the both of them. So the dudes in the barber shop and jail thinking they got some knowledge and are deceiving themselves. This is funny and sad because people believe this foolishness. I just can’t with this hotep/consciousness stuff. I can still love my black people and love my culture without this mess.

  • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

    It is what it is. Umar Johnson contradicted himself by claiming to be for black people, but using the N word a huge amount of times and disrespecting albino people too. He acts like this is a rap battle. This isn’t a rap battle. Hotep silliness is exemplified by his words and by the words of Sara Suten Seti (who curses up a storm too just like many of them Hebrew Israelites). You can still believe in black liberation, respect real black scholarship, and reject Hotep lies and propaganda at the same time.

    • Come through!!!!!

      • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

        Right on Sister. You always represent what the real deal is.

  • NonyaB🎯

    Thanks for noting the mark where he faked his call, so I didn’t have to wade through the video. Dude looking like a lost, overgrown street urchin in that beanie. Dead at “Stroke Fest”! Somebody should call him and the his fellow ashy warrior in stupidity and ask for details of their upcoming Stroke Fest in Detroit. 😝

    • I need to see if this debate actually happened! Let me get in touch with my hometown fam. I will post an update!

      • NonyaB🎯

        Yass, please do! And I’m loving dis new fiyah avi doe!

        • <3 I was giving #badandbougie realness!! lmao Thank you love!

        • Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo… I heard that it DID NOT GO DOWN IN THE DM. lol

  • sayiddah bey

    this is funny but not funny at the same time…at least for the folk who don’t have such a discerning nature…I’ve only managed to open a youtube video of U.J. by mistake….caught 30 seconds? of his “talk”…which did not resonate with me….and viola…I’ve been cured…never to wanted to have a listen again….he could probably qualify for a “headliner” hoteper….but nothin’ else….ijs