Five Random Post-Election Thoughts

post-election

Donald Trump is the next president of the United States. I should probably put some “respeck on his name” but my inner negro will not allow that. It’s cool. I’ve held on to these thoughts save my private Facebook page but I’ve finally decided to share these random ass post-election ramblings.

post-election-nah

5. Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg’s Potluck On VH1

Of all the programs that a network could develop, what goofy ass stoner thought that a show with Snoop and “Ms. Queen of The Cellblock” a.k.a “Vanilla Latte” better known as Martha Stewart was a good idea? There’s not enough kush or loud on this Earth that would make this entertaining. They had a fried chicken cookoff. Neither one of them cooked the damn chicken long enough and I didn’t see anybody plucking feathers. So uumm yeah. I’m good. It was the most awkward exchange between two people since Donald Trump went to the White House after winning the election.

*Side Note and Spoiler Alert* Which new nigga gives a blinged out cheese grater as a gift to Martha Stewart?  Rick Ross.  It was hella weird. And this incessant flirting and groping.  It’s just GROSS and he is CREEPY AS FUCK. Last thing, why does Rick Ross’s teeth look like molded Tic Tacs?

WTF MAN?

I have to watch this in order to report back to you. I will take one for the team. I’m doing you a favor. You’re welcome.

post-election-mary-and-hrc
BRUH!

4. Hillary Losing The Election Because Of Protest Votes And Non Voters

*Eye roll* Heads all over the internet pouted and stomped their feet about what other people should have done in terms of their voting choices. Evidently, Hillary Clinton won the popular vote by damn near 126,000 votes but the Electoral College did NOT want to see her as the president. It’s done. Votes that went to Gary Johnson and Jill Stein couldn’t have saved her. Superman couldn’t have saved her. I guess you all should have voted for Bernie Sanders in the primaries.

Oh well! Kanye for President in 202o.

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3. New Niggas Actually Said That Obama Wasn’t Expected To Just Help Black People

So there’s this. I shouldn’t expect the black president who I voted and campaigned for to do something for black people. How does a black person arrive at that train of thought? This is Bartering 101. You ask for our votes and we give it. You do what we ask. Simple.  Besides ANYTHING President Obama does for us is a benefit to EVERYBODY, no?

safety-pin-trump-brexit

 

2.  Safety Pins…

Post-election white “allies” have selected the safety pin to show solidarity with black folks. MUTHAFUCKIN SAFETY PINS. *fast blink* 

Because black people need more useless symbols of support from our alabaster counterparts. Stop patronizing us with dumb ass sewing kit items. If you want to help- be a shield, a bulletproof vest or a helmet. Commit to that shit. Take these ass whoopins and bullets. Then, we can talk.

The white women who voted for Trump must have had safety pins pinned to their Talbot cardigans. Where is Omarosa to remind them of their mediocrity when we need her?

To quote Jessie Williams… “SIT DOWN.” And to quote me, “Fuck outta here!”

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1. Trump Supporters Have Lost Their Fucking Minds

They must be giving away balls at Trump Plaza because the dubyas have gotten brazen with their racist antics. We have whites threatening deportation to students as they teach. A bold, white woman pulled off a Muslim woman’s hijab and hit her with it. White students are yelling racial slurs in class at black and immigrant students.

Pause.

Apparently, they’ve not crossed that one good negro who is primed and ready to rock them square in their shit. Trump’s victory has some white folks’ mouths writing checks that their asses won’t be able to cash. And there are many blacks who will not talk to you if you get out of pocket.

Tread lightly, white people.

It’s going to be a very interesting 4 years.

But real talk.. it’s just another day of being black in America.

Stay safe mi gente.

K.

 

K. Araújo, a native Detroiter, is a cross between Claire Huxtable, Rosie Pérez and Millie Jackson. Widow, professional dragger of filth and Mami to the dopest Ethiopian EVER, she is the Editor in Chief of "Negra With Tumbao" and a Staff Writer for "The Urban Twist". Keka has been known to shake what her mama gave her, is the hell and high water, an expert salsera and cussologist with a penchant for the finer things in life and is and forever shall be- unapologetically black.