5 Ways To Keep Your Sanity When You Aren’t Fond Of Your Spouse’s Family

Family- SIde eye

Family. We all have one. Everybody’s family has some varying degree of dysfunction. However, some families are worse than others. Like so fucked up that you should really be ashamed that it’s your family but because you love them or you don’t know any better- you aren’t.

We, all, know at least one family who you’d NEVER have your children around. You’d rather leave them alone in the house playing with matches near your curtains before you’d DARE leave them with those other folks. Add marriage to the equation and this could be a recipe for disaster.

Hopefully, your spouse is doing his or her due diligence to keep you loved and protected.

If not, here a few tips to help you cope.

Be gracious to the family

5. Be Gracious

Grace goes a long way when dealing with your spouse’s family. If the cousin, whom you can’t stand, offers you a glass of red wine- don’t throw it on her new white dress. I know that it may be challenging. However, exercising remarkable decorum and extreme restraint will keep you in your spouse’s good graces and that’s what’s most important, right?

Pray for the family
Sometimes you have to pray on it.

4. Pray. Meditate. Pray Again. In That Order. 

Prayer can be quite helpful when you are dealing with savages. Some folks weren’t raised with the proper upbringing.  You are not the culpable party. Take a few deep breaths, close your eyes and pray.

Pray for strength. Pray that you don’t punch anybody in the face. Hell, you can even pray that they get hit by a bus while crossing the street. Just take a moment with the Lordt so that YOU can be alright.

If you have concerns about your salvation, this may not be the solution for you.


ignore in Spanish

3. Ignore The Fuck Out Of Them

Yes. Ignore them. Don’t say hello. Don’t ask about their children. Treat them like they don’t exist.  According to this logic, out of sight means out of mind. Bask in their invisibility. You are not obligated to love them or speak to them. And fuck whoever tells you otherwise. The high road is overrated. They just need to stay the hell out of your way. Your spouse should facilitate that happening ESPECIALLY if they are disrespectful.

My father ensured that NOBODY EVER SPOKE A WORD against my mother.

Smile because your life is better than theirs.
Smile because your life is probably better than theirs.

2. Kill ’em with kindness… No, Really. Do it. 

Unfortunately, marriage doesn’t always dictate that you’ll inherit a cool ass family. You may get the bottom of the barrel. I’m talking the shit that you rub from the bottom of your shoes. It’s ok. You continue to smile and be nice because 9 times out of 10, your life is and will always be better than theirs.

Won’t he do it?!

Family- smite

1. Smite them. 

How many of you read that and laughed?

Well, hold your ha-ha’s, I’m dead-ass serious. Saints and holy rollers, this is not for you. Please proceed to the nearest exit.

If you have maintained your distance, respected your spouse’s wishes and they continue to give you problems- call upon your ancestors, spirits or whoever will get the job done and get rid of them.

Create a circle of protection around you and your children and give them this fucking work. Do what you need to maintain your sanity and happiness. You do not have to eat shit from anybody. I mean that.

Take care of yourself.



K. Araújo, a native Detroiter, is a cross between Claire Huxtable, Rosie Pérez and Millie Jackson. Widow, professional dragger of filth and Mami to the dopest Ethiopian EVER, she is the Editor in Chief of “Negra With Tumbao” and a Staff Writer for “The Urban Twist”. Keka has been known to shake what her mama gave her, is the hell and high water, an expert salsera and cussologist with a penchant for the finer things in life and is and forever shall be- unapologetically black.