I’m Low Key Obsessed With Drake. WTF?!


Drake has me open. No, seriously. I have a Drizzy obsession. I’m not bullshitting and light-skinned dudes aren’t my thing. He’s my imaginary boyfriend in my head. Yes, I know that you know that I’m married but there are levels to this shit. He has to be the nicest rapper ever. EVER.

He seems like the type of guy who would have a one-night stand and take you to breakfast, lunch AND dinner the next day. Then, he’d call your mom and tell her how great you are. That fucking nice!

I’m sure that he cries when he watches “Finding Nemo” and “Bambi”.

I love him. Drake’s recent appearance on “Saturday Night Live” cemented our relationship in my head. It makes perfect sense. I’m married to a Dominican and Drake is “Dominican” so there’s a commonality there.

*Sidenote* He looks like he can’t dance bachata for shit though.  Ha!

He likes BBWs and Lord knows that I’ve not missed any meals. Something in my spirit tells me that Drizzy just likes regular ass women but because he has to maintain a certain persona, he goes for the video chicks and shit. If he could have his way, he would date a regular sister from Detroit or St.Louis with a phatty, braids or natural hair who makes bomb ass fried chicken, macaroni and cheese and tacos. And she’s kind of ratchet and hella intelligent at the same damn time. She may have a kid or two and she’s in school studying to become a nurse or a teacher but she does nails on the weekends.

Drake gif

I am positive that he would buy her peonies and write her dope poetry because he is such a nice guy. I imagine him rubbing her feet while she tells him about the white chick that tried her in class and he encourages and supports her. I bet that he is such a fucking nice guy. I am low key obsessed like for real for real.

In my head- Champagne Papi makes breakfast in bed with happy faces on the pancakes, kisses his girl on the forehead before he leaves, calls when he is going to be late and never forgets a birthday. He is forthcoming with his feelings and he cries and smiles. He gets me all in feels. Singing ass Drake not rapping ass Drake. Bearded Aubrey not clean-shaven Drizzy.

He likes girls like me.  I’m out the game but I know girls with whom I can hook him up and I would gladly do it.

I hope that the industry doesn’t change one of the truly nice guys who has ever come into the game.

Call me, Drake.




K. Araújo, a native Detroiter, is a cross between Claire Huxtable, Rosie Pérez and Millie Jackson. Widow, professional dragger of filth and Mami to the dopest Ethiopian EVER, she is the Editor in Chief of “Negra With Tumbao” and a Staff Writer for “The Urban Twist”. Keka has been known to shake what her mama gave her, is the hell and high water, an expert salsera and cussologist with a penchant for the finer things in life and is and forever shall be- unapologetically black.

  • LMAO…if we checking for the lightskins.. I am definitely #TeamColeWorld..Something about Jermaine does it for me in a way Drizzy just cant touch..both are out my age range..though

    • Chiiiile… Jermaine, too… but Drake is sooooo Wonder Bread.. Cole got some thug on it. lol

      • I need that thug on it….I hate white bread..literally…lol

        • I CANNOT with you!! Lmao

          I’m married to a retired thug..lol

          • lol..I have a fondness for em myself….or science nerds…its all or nothing for me..lol..

  • Girl I hate you so much right now! I died at *peonies*. ????????????????

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