Russell Wilson Proposes To Ciara: Top Five Reasons Why I Am Getting My Eternal Life

Russell Wilson and Ciara are getting married and I could not be happier for them.

Russell Wilson  proposed to Ciara and I am ecstatic about it. If you follow me on Instagram, you KNOW that I vigilantly observe and guard their Instagrams. I think they are adorable. Black love is winning. Needless to say, when I heard about their pending nuptials- there were five things about this proposal that gave me my ENTIRE LIFE!

Petty alert!! Yes, this list will be petty as fuck. Call the Kardashians and grab your Bibles, ankhs, fans, smartphones for posting indirect, and salty  ass Facebook statuses and most of all- HAVE A SEAT because a whole bunch of you kneegrows need one.

Number Five: Russell Wilson came back home. 

Russell came back home.
White girls lost one and Russell came back home.

Russell Wilson was once married to a “Becky”. Now, I don’t think her name was really Rebecca but this fits. He has always been known to be a really good guy and Becky cheated with a teammate and he peaced her out. He divorced her ass. She did not collect $200 nor did she pass “Go”. There was no counseling. And now… He has found true love with the lovely Ciara and I am tickled. I love the way that he looks at her. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas Russell! Come back to the refreshing sweet waters of the Osun River. I heard Lake Minnetonka was cold.

*Disclaimer* If you interracially date,  please don’t come here trolling about colorblind love and race shouldn’t matter. This is a safe space for us and I WILL get you together.

Number Four: Future is mad as fuck.

Ciara WINS
Ciara’s proposal beats anything that he’s ever said.

Future was the quintessential “bitter ass nigga”. He stayed throwing shade at Cici and Russell’s relationship. If it wasn’t slick talk about their sex life, he was talking about how she mothered his son.  Sir, YOU fucked that up and now YOU want to be bitter? Grow up, Nativity. That’s not how this works. Why is he so worried about THIS baby’s mama? Doesn’t he have like 13 of them?  I guess SHE was HIS pinnacle of “bad bitches”. Worry about your career, your children, your character, that fugly ass mug…just stop worrying about a woman  who has, OBVIOUSLY, moved on. Maybe, you can call Drake while “Marvin’s Room” is playing in the background and ask him how to mend a broken heart. Try to figure out where you fucked up. Wait, what I am I talking about? That’s a man move. This dude is a clown. Oh well!

*singing* “I bet you start loving me..soon as I start loving someone else…somebody better than yooooou…”

Cici 1, Fuckboy 0

Number Three: Baby’s Mamas, Sluts, “Hood Rats” and “Thots” can give all practitioners of respectability politics their asses to kiss.

Russell and Ciara!
Yes, honey- you deserve love and happiness. Russell and Ciara are showing out!

This is EVERYTHING. The world keeps telling sisters that they are not worthy of love because they’ve had babies and are single mothers, they are “ghetto”, they are whores and that they need to make better choices. FUCK ALL OF THAT. Police your own damn penis or vagina. Stop trying to police somebody else’s shit. Black men and women have been pointing the finger at “unsavory” sisters while giving no accountability to shiftless fuckboys.  When sisters do decide that they want better- every sanctified,  miserable sexless broad aka “nice girl”, hotepping ass bama,  or crybaby ass “nice guy” tells them that they don’t deserve to find love. Listen to me sisters….THIS wife did and does what the hell she wants and wanted and it didn’t stop shit! Understand that my HUSBAND loves me back and I have my own story which I will share another day.

You have a ton of hateful bastards pointing their dirty ass fingers at you all while they are eating a bag of dicks Monday- Saturday, sexually, physically and mentally abusing their kids, taking drugs, getting niggas shot, cheating on their wives, kicking their gay kids out in the street and being drunks. They show their wack asses up for church on Sunday because “they are saved.” talmbout they are gonna pray for YOU. Naw, I’m good. You can keep it.

 Understand this…anything that you do-OWN THAT SHIT! Listen to me, babies! We do become wives and we can be happy! I promise you.

Number Two: Ciara’s son will be raised by a better man than his father. 

Russell Wilson has a stellar reputation as a great guy. That man just sits right in my spirit. He doesn’t have children of his own but he has been an active participant in Zahir’s life since he and Ciara began dating. One could only wish for someone to love their baby as much as them. Future has already started the bullshit though. Why they keep giving this donkey airtime is beyond me but I have a feeling that this will quickly fade. Becoming a better father requires that one becomes a man. With all those bitchass tendencies, he has a long way to go.

Finally- Number One: THEY GON’ DO IT! 

Ciara and Russell will finally get it on!
Ciara and Russell will finally get it on!!

They gon’ do it. They gon’ do it. They gon’ do it…do it..do it! The moment that I’ve been waiting for. That’s weird.. I know! But why get married if you aren’t going to have sex everywhere? I’m sure that it will be hot and steamy. COME THROUGH BLACK LOVE!

I wish them a lifetime of love and happiness! They both deserve it.

K.

K. Araújo, a native Detroiter, is a cross between Claire Huxtable, Rosie Pérez and Millie Jackson. Widow, professional dragger of filth and Mami to the dopest Ethiopian EVER, she is the Editor in Chief of "Negra With Tumbao" and a Staff Writer for "The Urban Twist". Keka has been known to shake what her mama gave her, is the hell and high water, an expert salsera and cussologist with a penchant for the finer things in life and is and forever shall be- unapologetically black.
  • Yes, yes, yes to all this!! You put into words all the reasons why I’m so here for them! I love this list. It’s so on point