Black Women, “No” and The Black Man’s Fragile Ego

Janese Talton-Jackson murdered by Charles Anthony for not reciprocating his advances. Photo courtesy of Facebook.

The word “no” holds power. That’s what we are supposed to teach our daughters. It’s the word we use when we assert our rights to our bodies, thoughts and actions. It’s the word that’s supposed to keep us safe.

Operative word- “supposed”.

We all know the story. We are out with our girls having a great time. Drinking a cute drink, hair done, nails done and we’re feeling good…. and THAT guy comes over. He may offer to buy a drink, ask if you’re single, ask you to dance or even make small talk.

If you’re like me, you go out with your girlfriends to enjoy their company and to get out of the house and if some guy comes on to you- you say, “No.”

This monosyllabic word should not be the cause of death for black women.

It is.

For a normal brother, that’s usually enough, right?  I mean what self-respecting black man would continue to pursue someone who is, obviously,  not interested for whatever reason?

Janese Talton-Jackson, 29, was shot and killed Friday morning in Homewood, Pittsburgh after leaving a bar where some tender-assed negro tried to talk to her and she turned him down. She opted to leave the bar when this sorry bastard  FOLLOWED her out, made another desperate advance which she, again, rejected and he shot her in the chest- killing her instantly. Just like that another black woman snuffed out by a fucking animal with a fragile ass ego. Charles Anthony McKinney murdered a mother of 3, sister, daughter and  at 41 years of age- you’d think that this son of a bitch would have better coping skills.

How narcissistic and arrogant does this poor excuse of a black man have to be to kill someone for telling him, “NO.”?

No..Mary Spears was shot and killed at a cabaret in Detroit for rejecting a 38 year old man's advances. NO
Mary Spears was shot and killed at a cabaret in Detroit for rejecting a 38 year old man’s advances.

In October 2014, Mary Spears (an engaged mother of three) went to a cabaret on the east side of Detroit. Never to return home. 1 of six people shot after a 38 year old clown was thrown out of the party after becoming enraged that Mary didn’t return his advances. He opened fire on everyone outside.

From where does the sense of entitlement come? At what point did black men start to dehumanize black women? Our lives have simply been reduced to being conquests and if we aren’t compliant, we don’t deserve to live. These “men” have mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts and grandmothers so it’s unimaginable to me that they could have so much hate towards a woman who may look like their family member.

Are black women to assume that we should only be respected by black men when their delicate egos are being stroked? “No” isn’t disrespectful and if black men’s fragility is based on that ONE simple word then how many more black women will be murdered before other black men step in and tell them to, “Man the fuck up!”

Where in the Rites of Passage for Black Men does it read to act like a bitch when a woman  rejects you. This isn’t personal. These women didn’t know their murderers. One was engaged and was being respectful of her RELATIONSHIP! The same mutual respect that these sons of bitches would have wanted if the victims were committed to them.

Black women outnumber black men so if one isn’t interested. Move on.

I know this doesn’t pertain to ALL black men but I’m not about to entertain the brothers that scream that. If it doesn’t apply, LET IT FUCKING FLY.

HOWEVER, if you’re reading this and you’ve been that man that wouldn’t take, “No.” for an answer. I’m talking to you.

If you have a homeboy who acts like this and YOU don’t say shit or you laugh. I’m talking to you.

Be a man. A better man than you were today and yesterday. It could save a life.



K. Araújo, a native Detroiter, is a cross between Claire Huxtable, Rosie Pérez and Millie Jackson. Widow, professional dragger of filth and Mami to the dopest Ethiopian EVER, she is the Editor in Chief of “Negra With Tumbao” and a Staff Writer for “The Urban Twist”. Keka has been known to shake what her mama gave her, is the hell and high water, an expert salsera and cussologist with a penchant for the finer things in life and is and forever shall be- unapologetically black.