Blac Chyna And Why Respectability Politics Is Only Enforceable On Black Women

Blac Chyna

Blac Chyna, a former stripper now turned business woman and model, is the latest target of respectability politics at the hands of her ex-fiance and daughter’s father- Rob Kardashian and the general public.

I’m sure that some folks are scratching their heads as to why I mentioned that Blac Chyna is a former stripper. That was intentional. How many of you turned your noses up? How many of you stopped viewing her as a human being- a woman, a mother? Someone deserving of respect?

Blac Chyna

Blac Chyna hasn’t done anything that hasn’t been done since the beginning of time. Perhaps the sting is she beat white women at their own game. The Kardashian sisters and Kris Jenner were never here for her although they’ve spent the better part of their adult lives doing exactly what she did. White women “marry up” while black women “use”. Somehow,  a 17-year old white girl with a penchant for dating and fucking black rappers isn’t problematic. I am sure she’s an upgrade for those types like Travis Scott, Tyga and PartyNextDoor. And Khloe and Kim have made their rounds too. Clearly, being white buys all kinds of passes for fuckery. We don’t talk about the miles on their vaginas but Blac Chyna is expected to be the “Saint of All Ye Holy Black Vaginas”.

And their precious, sloppy drug-addicted loser of a son/brother somehow deserved a woman “better” than a black, ex-stripper with a son by their daughter’s now ex-boyfriend, Tyga.

Rob Kardashian did what most men and even women do when Blac Chyna made a conscious decision to be selfish.

When WE take control of our own destinies, folks make it a point to bring up what they deem to be the worst in us. Our sexual behavior and attitudes. Our daring to not give a fuck!

Blac Chyna A false narrative was created that said black women should consider the feelings of others while offering unrelenting support and gratitude to these same people often times at the  expense of our own sanity. Being ourselves for fear of how it will look to others drives us to sit in silence and accept what OTHERS think we should have versus going after what we desire.

These same assholes point fingers in hopes to denigrate and shame black women to fit in their judgmental boxes while engaging in the same behaviors behind closed doors.

I have lived it.

Many people know the story of how I met my husband. Others may not. The women, who my husband calls family, spent YEARS attempting to shame me for dating my husband. I  dated his “brother” first. Yes, we had sex. Lots of it. Get over it.

And then I saw my husband. He was everything. He asked me out even knowing I had dated his “brother”. Apparently, loyalty wasn’t an issue at that point. I even gave dude the courtesy of “asking him” if he had a problem with me going out with my husband.

He said, “No.”

The look on his face said otherwise but that was not my portion so I kept it moving. Al and I moved forward and THEN it was an issue.

Somewhere, it was determined that the onus of not coming between two grown ass men fell on me. We were all adults. I didn’t owe either one of them anything. Still don’t to this day. And if being loyal to one another meant that I had to help them accomplish this feat, they were shit out of luck.

Blac Chyna

Apparently, MY vagina made the women in this dysfunctional ass family angry too. They (well one bitch in particular) tried to convince my husband that I wasn’t worthy of his love because of my connection to the miscellaneous dude who I hadn’t thought about since I stopped dealing with him- among other things.

With all the dirt and skeletons that existed in that space, you’d have thought that these people would have worked on improving themselves rather than be worried about why my husband loved AND married me.

I think my husband low-key appreciated my “IDGAF” attitude.

Here’s the thing.

People project their insecurities onto others. It is important to recognize that. Also, it is critical to understand that many folks are uncomfortable with self-assured, assertive black women especially given the history of keeping black women oppressed.

Our progression depends on sisters not feeling guilty or being ashamed about taking control of our happiness, our wealth,  our bodies and our voices.

 

K.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

K. Araújo, a native Detroiter, is a cross between Claire Huxtable, Rosie Pérez and Millie Jackson. Widow, professional dragger of filth and Mami to the dopest Ethiopian EVER, she is the Editor in Chief of “Negra With Tumbao” and a Staff Writer for “The Urban Twist”. Keka has been known to shake what her mama gave her, is the hell and high water, an expert salsera and cussologist with a penchant for the finer things in life and is and forever shall be- unapologetically black.

  • LaDonna

    I was all the way with you about the slut shaming we Black women must endure versus that of White women. The “miles on ones vagina” line is classic. I don’t understand the correlation between you sexing brothers, marrying one and being gobsmacked that the women of the family would take umbrage. Your decision to do so might be woman empowerment but it’s also messy.

    • There was no mess. I’m an adult. I was upfront about my intentions and it wasn’t his blood brother and even if it was… that’s between them… neither one of them had any bearing on what I want.

      Folks kill me with all that…. knowing they’ve done and been worse but constantly want to talk about what somebody does with their life…Neither one was my husband at the time and I found something I liked better. I’m not depriving myself of anything for some nigga’s pride who WASN’T shit in the first place… naw bruh.. take that same “L” You tried to give me.

    • and I already stated that the women were DOING was away worse shit than me and not being honest.. moral of the story… worry about YOUR own raggedy ass life before meddling in mine… I got this.

  • C Taborn

    Ohhh NWT your story took me back to a similar situation I went through with my former and his “brother.” Instead of the women in the family trying to shame me it was the former. I had to hurt his feelings real quick. How you going to attempt to shame me for a brief fling with your “brother” when I didn’t even know you at the time esp when I find out that you & your actual brothers got a history of dating each others’ cast-offs as well as the rampant cheating all ya’ll where doing that even your own mama co-signed on. Girl I pulled up my grown woman panties and bounced on all them. I watch this Black Cyna/Rob K mess with curiosity on the mental gymnastics people are engaging in to make her look like the ain’t sh*t person in the relationship when Rob K was no saint. I’m amazed at his supposed “victim” status when it is evident that his chronic depression and other issues not to mention his family’s constant involvement would have been a contributing factor to her decision to leave the relationship. No one really knows what that relationship was truly about outside of what was presented to the media.

    • Let’s also mention…Rob has been abusive af to other women.

      Girl!!

      • C Taborn

        Yeah I’m trying not to get into it with people like “so Rob’s history with his exes mean nothing so Tyga’s shenanigans mean nothing so basically ya’ll saying you not even going to bother with comprehending anything outside of believing she is a gold digger who is taking Rob for child support or to get Tyga back for being with Kylie?!?” Maybe she wanted to be with him and help him through his issues and then realize they were bigger than her and left to keep her sanity. I mean if she is a gold digger than what is he? His mama pretty much supports him and even his sisters sort of treat him like a burden when he is in a depressive state or a sad puppy they trot out when they want to feel better by “helping” him out. From the outside looking in he has problems that he may not be trying to fix and how much “supporting” is she supposed to be doing (I guess she was supposed to be ride-or-die even when his own sisters are no such thing). I feel like people are not even trying to see them both as flawed imperfect human beings who make mistakes or are just not right for each other. Oh I forgot people who live their lives in the spotlight should be spotless smh. I’m getting off my soapbox now. Between this situation and the new Jay-Z album I need a mental break lol

        • Nasahgnik

          Flawed imperfect human beings?
          He committed a crime in the state of California.
          He should be prosecuted.
          #jailRobKardashian

          • C Taborn

            My comment about “flawed imperfect human beings” had nothing to do with his social media bullying etc. I find what he did to be deplorable and there should be punishment. I can’t speak on the legality of it as I have yet to research the actual law in CA. Sadly I also know that proving something legally is another matter and like stalking laws if the law is written too broadly than it’s not easy despite having overwhelming evidence.
            Again my comment was a general take on the commentary surrounding this relationship and how many levels a relationship can have. Legally criminal behavior is a different matter.

          • Nasahgnik

            Under SB 255, an act of revenge porn is defined as someone who “photographs or records by any means the image of the intimate body part or parts of another identifiable person, under circumstances where the parties agree or understand that the image shall remain private, and the person subsequently distributes the image taken, with the intent to cause serious emotional distress, and the depicted person suffers serious emotional distress.” 3

  • SJP

    I don’t care about her being stripper. But their situation was messy and my own opinion (not fact) is that they each had ulterior motives that did not involve mutual love or affection, for getting together. He took ish too darn far trying to shame her for how she chooses to live her life after their breakup. She didn’t owe him any darn thing and he didn’t owe her any darn thing once they parted ways. I don’t care if they still hit that, they were no longer exclusive. His temper tantrum on Instagram and Twitter will be great evidence that will be used against him when Blac Chyna takes his tail to court.

    • C Taborn

      Thank you I see as a whole they were both not altogether correct in their behavior/motives but what happened after the breakup is a different story. He was all the way wrong for the social media bullying revenge porn etc.

  • Nasahgnik

    This is not about respectability politics. What you are doing is filtering this thru the lens of your experience.
    This is about a crime.
    Revenge porn is a crime in California.
    Everything else is a distraction.
    #jailRobKardashian