The Life And Times Of The Tragic Mulata

tragic mulata

Navigating the proximity to blackness must be a profound challenge for the tragic mulata. In the past, I’ve felt empathy for her. I know many sisters who’ve tried to elucidate clear boundaries in order to embrace their negritude. There’s always that one who decides that black ain’t REALLY where it’s at UNTIL it’s advantageous to be there.

That one TODAY is Jasmine Banks.

Until a few months ago, I had no idea who this tragic mulata was.

We became acquainted  via my comai and bloguera boo, Sili a few months ago. I remember hearing Jasmine’s voice on a conference call and within five minutes, I had pretty much decided that she wasn’t my portion but don’t mind me. My gut is my gut. I called Sili to share my assessment, which is what I essentially do to everyone I meet for the first time. It’s how I process whether or not I deem you “fuckwittable”. I felt several things and said this verbatim.

  1. She was passive aggressive. AS FUCK. 
  2.  She is a narcissistic sociopath bordering on being a psychopath.
  3. She, ALWAYS, has to be a the center of attention.
  4. She is sneaky/ messy as hell.

tragic mulata

Yes, I know that she sounds EXACTLY like the 53%  but I need y’all to keep those 4 statements in the back of your minds.

We had a few inbox discussions that left me feeling meh but other than that- I didn’t engage her. She just reminded me of a tragic mulata and I wasn’t getting the blackhand side of her like I needed. Again on this here good Sabbath- SHE WAS NOT MY PORTION. Amen.

Strike 1

A few weeks ago, Graeme (she will be addressed too) called out PP and resigned from her position immediately basically over white people white peopling. There was a huge uproar and right on point… Jasmine aka The Tragic Mulata shows up teary-eyed, with a speech about “problematic” white women who were “violent” and “oppressive” and SHE gives HER resignation effective immediately. That’s dope, right? Here’s the gag. Graeme left because she was fed up and she didn’t allow fear of not having a way to make a living confine her to that toxic, ashen environment.

Jasmine left out one very important detail with regard to her telling the snowflakes to kiss her ass. I wonder if the reason for her grand exit was because a job was landed weeks beforehand yet the narrative was spun about putting her livelihood on the line too? There was NO RISK whatsoever to her “calling out” PP. Surely, Graeme couldn’t have all the attention though.

Strike 2

Yesterday, I saw the post featured in the blog photo and it made my ass itch. Literally. It was peak passive aggressive rhetoric. A white women, who obviously felt comfortable enough to inbox her, asked her a few questions. The tragic mulata, with all of her Scarlet O’Hara antics, declared war on this chick. Uuuum ok. Let’s take a step back. Jasmine, OBVIOUSLY, covets white gaze. That’s the reason why damn near EVERYTHING she does CENTERS WHITE FOLKS. Her current soon to be spouse, her ex- husband, her circle of friends prior to her “blackity black” transition on these here innanets are all screaming for Miss Anne’s worthy adoration.  She talks loudly so people won’t SEE what she’s doing. Let me REPEAT THAT. SHE TALKS LOUDLY SO THAT YOU CAN’T SEE WHAT SHE’S DOING.

It’s easy to discern when you tune her out. Oh and I did. And what I saw next was astounding. She was the whisperer of alabaster martyrdom because white “progressives and liberals’ were coming out of the woodwork to thrash this chick.  This shit straight reminded me of David Koresh and Waco. She lead these jerkoffs to drink the cyanide Kool-Aid  and they were all ready to die at her pale ass feet if only they could be resurrected in a reverse “12 Years  A Slave”.

They wanted to take the beatings of all the poor kneegrows and throw themselves at the feet of Black Jesus for redemption and resurrection.

It was the shit my distrust of whites was made of and only one person called it out. And in Rachel Dolezal irony, a lone, white maiden named Tasha (go figure a white chick with a black name) had the balls to check the shit out of Jasmine Banks.

tragic mulata

Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch, I LIVED!

Also, let the record show that I do NOT keep white folks in my circle.  I talk to them when I HAVE to save one or two. I’m suspicious of whites who are ALWAYS trying  to be taught everything  about the black experience and speak up for us even when nobody asks them to. Everything doesn’t concern them but their egos won’t allow them to just watch and learn from the sidelines. This is PEAK Beckyhood.  I don’t think black folks need for them to do all of that. Seriously, if they just worked on being decent- all of the faux “I’m not like THAT white person!” bullshit wouldn’t exist.

Honestly, I had NEVER seen white women “take on the burden” of addressing another fellow Rebecca against one of us before. It’s suspicious as hell. I’m certain that it came so easy because when they look at Jasmine, they don’t SEE a black woman, no matter how many t-shirts and videos she creates. They see themselves. Hateful, manipulative, conniving, and fucked up. A pink pussy hat-wearing hypocrite who according to the messages in my inbox, never even felt black enough to begin with which is why she constantly compares herself to light-skinned women. Surely, if we accept them… we should accept her.

tragic mulata

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaw bruh. I smell a Caitlyn in Aisha attire. Somebody’s trying to put a banana in my tailpipe and these melanin streets are talking about Ms. Lake Minnetonka trying to pass as Ms.Lake Tanganyika. She can’t just come get her “nigga fix” and then go back to Mayberry to tell her sewing circle how cool it is to be one of us but don’t ask her shit because she’s not their resource.

Nobody has EVER thought to ask her, “WHY DOES SHE KEEP THEM AROUND IF THEY ARE ALL OF SO TOXIC?”

Let me help answer that… it’s the pumpkin spice latte calling the iced cappucino- white. Y’all have given this tragic mulata way too many passes while being white peopled in blackface. She’s diabolically evil and also, one of helluva an actress. #OscarsSoWhite

 

Strike 3

I was all done with this  mess. I posted my subliminal stat on my page and kept it pushing until 2 things. I received Big Tash’s above-mentioned screenshot in my DM’s and then the screenshots of folks, black and white, attacking Luvvie. Clearly- Kirsten, the white chick in mulata face (Jasmine), missed the blackity black memo on how black folks check each other with love. It was the right thing to do especially when you recognize that someone you care about is making a complete and utter ass out of herself and her white friends are too damn passive to tell her and her “black friends” are, clearly, new niggas and should go fuck off somewhere. I’m sure they are triggered reading this. Guess who doesn’t give a fuck?

tragic mulata

I left my approval for Tasha’s comment and I defended Luvvie and somebody let the dogs out. Well tried to anyway. Ironically, Senorita Big Mouth stayed eerily quiet. That’s also her MO. She tries the tag and drag and then plays the victim. Nope. Not today. Se acabo! And the other cute shit is- Becky Jean stayed talking about black sisterhood all while telling certain black women that they needed to ask certain other black women for money for work they had done as a solid for their homie because the person needing the favor had it like that.

Oh little tragic mulata. Did you not read in your “How To Be An Oppressed Black Woman” handbook that we do shit for each other without expecting anything in return? And these are women whom YOU, supposedly, “love”? It’s a sistergirl code to pay it forward. But you haven’t really lived as a black woman to know that.

In the words of the great Whodini, “With friends like that, you don’t need enemies!”

So I cussed out some random ass black girl with a cape who should’ve probably googled me first. Her bad. Anyway…Jillian went on a wild ass blocking spree which included blocking black women like me (IDGAF), Luvvie, Sili (who must’ve been blocked for associating with me) and Heather. There may be more. Who knows? Who cares?

Black bloggers and influencers, all over the innanets,  are realizing right now at this very second that Jasmine ain’t REALLY down and she’s using that half “Black” rhetoric to reap the benefits. Jasmine Banks has been co-opting our struggle for her funky ass gain for at least 4 years. We see her fraudulent ass. And being a counselor, she ALWAYS has access to the latest and greatest afflictions… and the flavor of the month is Racial Appropriation Munchausen’s Syndrome. 

Jasmine Banks is the perfect example of when Becky’s “black” baby becomes a problem!

Fix your life, Amanda!

 

 

K. Araújo, a native Detroiter, is a cross between Claire Huxtable, Rosie Pérez and Millie Jackson. Widow, professional dragger of filth and Mami to the dopest Ethiopian EVER, she is the Editor in Chief of “Negra With Tumbao” and a Staff Writer for “The Urban Twist”. Keka has been known to shake what her mama gave her, is the hell and high water, an expert salsera and cussologist and is and forever shall be- unapologetically black.

  • Deesha

    Do you have a tip jar?

    • Lmao!! Naw, sis! I should create a gofund me though. I could ask her… she’s good at that!

  • Yanira Garza

    On behalf of the National Association of Mixed Race Chicks, and
    Mulatas Unidas, Midwest Chapter, we want the community to know there is no Affiliation.

    Gracias

  • You have literally NO understanding of what happened with PPI, what I needed, what Jasmine gave me, or what I asked her to do. You could have asked me what went on – before using my name in your piece to slander my friend. If you’d like to know the truth I am available. Until then you should know your Strike 1 is WRONG. I can’t speak to the rest of the piece – I didn’t read it.

    • Glad you decided to come play. I gave you a pass yesterday… Today, you won’t get one. I don’t have to ask you anything… you should learn the definition of slander…You wrote a piece about your departure from PP.. it was shared… Idgaf about what you asked Jasmine to do… the FACTS ARE SHE HAD A JOB LINED UP AND PRESENTED SHIT LIKE SHE WAS TAKING AN “L” is misleading and wack as fuck. I WATCHED THAT DRAMATIC ASS VIDEO.

      You’re mentioned because you didn’t let Jasmine address her own shit. Moral of the story….. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6d62f084cba2c800c09568ffad683e9bfc29526acf171cb0873229d6bcc8c9a8.jpg

      • Liberal Lisa

        “you should learn the definition of slander” 👏👏👏👏👏👏😂😂😂😂

        • Frank

          Indeed. There is one person with grounds for a slander suit and her name is Katherine Stone at Postpartum Progress. But don’t sweat it Graeme. We don’t plan to name you. But you will get deposed so save all those direct messages and emails.

  • Liberal Lisa

    Thank you thank you thank you thank you. Brilliantly written, backed up with receipts and omfg “tragic mulata” takes the fucking cake! Sharing everywhere to break the internet. Love people. Hate toxicity. Thank you. Fan for life xoxo

  • Candice

    This article is quite mean spirited. Congrats I guess..

      • Candice

        Okay.. which puts you on her level I guess. As I said, congrats.

        • Nope. I don’t hurt and use black women and then act like a victim!
          Nice try though.

          • Candice

            I’m not trying anything. The first half of your sentence is not exactly correct given the context, but I suppose the last half is as you are owning your behavior here. I don’t know this Jasmine girl, or you before clicking this article. I was simply giving my objective opinion of how your piece came off to me, a random reader. Clearly one needs to know the “inside joke” in order to justify the tone of this article. So ok then.

          • https://m.popkey.co/572153/bqZpW.gif

            The first half of my sentence was ABSOLUTELY CORRECT GIVEN THE CONTEXT. Jasmine, OBVIOUSLY, isn’t a woman who I would consider to be black given she has never lived a black experience so there’s that. Random reader, the piece wasn’t meant to be nice or to make folks feel good. So we are clear…there is no grace, kindness, high road or ANY semblance of love for her… she can go to hell. That’s what’s clear. I don’t care if she is hurting.. She is toxic and I exposed her. She has yet to address the black women, who were abused and traumatized by her and until that happens… she will get whatever she has coming. PERIOD.

            Glad to see that you didn’t ask about the victims though. :-/