Today, I was in the car clearing out my voicemails and I came across one from my Daddy on 11/4/2016. It was 34 seconds long. I had never listened to it.
I’ve had meltdowns for most of the day with some bouts of laughter.Yemi had a meltdown in school. She emailed me to tell me that she was having a rough time. She had no idea that I was going through the same thing. It’s been A REALLY SHITTY DAY for Yemi and me.
I press play and the first thing I heard was my Daddy saying,
“Keka! What’s happening ole big head girl? You’re my daughter and I gotta call you sometimes and find out how you doing and make sure you’re alright…. so um uuuum.. I’ma get off the phone now and call somebody else.. Uuum *voice lowers* I know you’re busy…Later Big Head.. And how my Big head gdaughter doing? You know that’s my angel…. Later baby…..”
I am positive that was him trying to comfort me and make me smile.
My biggest regret right now was being too busy for my Daddy at times. Too busy to call. Too busy to come home. Just too fucking busy being busy.
I promise if I could have just one more day with him, I would take every call. I would say, “I love you, Daddy!” until he couldn’t take it anymore. I would cook him homemade chicken soup and lamb chops until I had to roll him to the bed. And I would let him know every minute of the day how grateful and proud I am to be his daughter.
I would be willing to give my own life just to let my Daddy know that I was never too busy for him. I just never thought that he would be gone so soon. I thought I had until tomorrow….