“If given the opportunity, would you bring back someone back?”
Mind blown. *cue tears*
I, often, see people ask for one more moment with their dearly, departed loved ones and I’m not so sure that I’d do it. It’s easy to cling to the idea of seeing their faces, saying things they didn’t get a chance to say before they passed or just hugging or caressing their hair one more time. I, still, grieve the deaths of my cousins and they have been gone for 15 and 25 years respectively. I cry when I think of how our kids never got to hear their laughter or spend Christmas with them. I think of how hard it must be for my dad living so many years without his grandparents and now his baby brother. I send long distance hugs and prayers to my cousins, Jeanetta and her babies, for the loss of her father/ their granddaddy.
I am reminded how my husband and his brothers live without their mami. I keep Sylvia and Shawn in my heart while they cope with the loss of their granddad. I remember the tears of my brother-in-law and his family when his mom died the year I was pregnant with Little NWT. She died the same day she finally made it over to my sister and my brother’s new apartment to have coffee. She had, also, given my sister her wedding ring. How poetic! How Sili and Ty remember their moms and how Yanira and LaMonica are getting through the loss of their fathers.
I think of all of these things. As much as I would want to have them with me again, I know there is no possible way to remember all of things that I would tell them. I couldn’t hug or kiss them enough. There are not enough “I love you’s!” to say. And my heart couldn’t take losing them again. It would be too much for sanity. No do-overs for me.
So I rely on time, my pen, my family and friends to help get me through the grief. I will cry as needed and tend to my boveda. I will get help. And most importantly- I will NEVER forget the impact that they’ve had on my life.
La muerte es final pero el amor es para siempre.
Until next time.