Fuckboy Chronicles: I, Officially, Can’t With Kanye Anymore

Kanye

Kanye has officially lost his shit and as the unofficial spokesperson for the black delegation, I can’t any longer.  Yeezy has been on one for a minute and I’ve dismissed his ego-fueled rants as creative genius because he makes good music. Well, he used to. He’s also from Chicago which is like a sister city to Detroit. It’s likely that we may even have a cousin or two in common because I’m a Detroiter. Not really but I digress.

Yeezy, clearly, suffers from chronic diarrhea of the mouth. He has compared himself to Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Howard Hughes, Harry Truman and even Henry Ford and I was amused by his ceaseless arrogance. We should all have his self-confidence, right? Frankly speaking, I couldn’t desert him when white folks were coming for his head. I’ve defended him against Taylor Swift. I rode with him as he referred to his wife (Kim Kardashian) along with various other celebs as “undeniably the influencers, the thought leaders.”

*cough with blank stare*

I muddled my way through all that foolishness. But I was “motherf*cking tired”  and I was just about to leave his ass until he showed up with “Fade” featuring Teyana Taylor in the video. Kanye wooed me back like an ex with the best peen ever but when he spoke yet again, I remembered why I wanted to leave him in the first place.

Honestly, I could’ve gotten behind his “faux” bid for the presidency in 2020. Hell, if Donald Trump can do it- anybody can. Just imagine this fool in a presidential debate. But seriously, I could’ve rocked with him in a gtfoh kind of way. That dream is dead and gone.

Kanye

Today, I’m done. Beyonce and Jigga bowed out ages ago. Evidently, it’s affecting him because he went off on a 17 minute tangent on everything from Trump to his severed relationship with the Carters at his concert in California on Saturday. And then after pleading with Jay to “not kill him and talk to him like a man”, he proceeded to disclose that he didn’t vote but if he had, it would have been for Trump. Kanye shaded Drake and hyped up Kid Cudi as one of the greats. Bish where?

All of this transpired over 3 songs, 17 minutes and a mic drop after starting 90 minutes late.

Bruh.

I shan’t. No puedo. How Sway? How?

I have entertained his foolishness long enough. I’ve had my fill of his shenanigans and I will not support a narcissist who isn’t paying me or having sex with me to treat me like trash. That’s why I married  my husband.

 

*that’s a joke by the way*

FOH Kanye.

 

 

K. Araújo, a native Detroiter, is a cross between Claire Huxtable, Rosie Pérez and Millie Jackson. Widow, professional dragger of filth and Mami to the dopest Ethiopian EVER, she is the Editor in Chief of “Negra With Tumbao” and a Staff Writer for “The Urban Twist”. Keka has been known to shake what her mama gave her, is the hell and high water, an expert salsera and cussologist and is and forever shall be- unapologetically black.

  • PriceIsRightHorns

    They need to send the people to come and collect Ye. Today.

  • Yanira Garza

    As an unoffical member of the made up Chicago delegation, we normally put Chicago over everything. We have decided, we no longer want him despite Faded being the ish. Also, he wasn’t lying on Kid Cudi tho’. Todo claro? K? Bye. LOL

  • Tahtahme

    Besides the fact that Drake REALLY isn’t all that (he literally steals material from artists he parties with in the Carribean and he can’t freestyle) and Kudi really isn’t that bad (and is, dare I say, good!), you are correct. I have been a fan of Kanye a long, long time. Since he was a poet long time. Since I was a child and had time to be a fan. I could have never seen this coming. He has surprised us all.